-1500 hit.

come on mr.song, stop screwing around.

Yeah, I lost $1500 today. How? I decided to play some 1/2 NL where teh buy in is $400. Sigh. I lost a $200 pot, made that back +100, then I lost a $500 pot where he called my all in w/AK overcard + flush draw and spiked the ace. That made me go nuts.

Oh well.

huge hit but this is a chance to prove to myself that I have what it takes to play in this world. Lonely though. I think my broll is about 2-2.5k, I'm not really sure. Some people owe me money and my $$$ is spread out.

Want to know how I dealt w/the 1.5k loss? I decided to go and buy two chain necklaces and a pendant for $200. Funny how when I lose big I decide I want to spend my money on something legitimate.

Focus. I need to focus. I want to live freely, I want to help my friends, I must make money.

I feel like a degenerate right now. I feel like throwing it all away over a girl who doesn't seem to want any of my attention. And that sucks balls, especially when you're pretty close friendship wise. I can't shake it. I can't even get angry or depressed over her or poker. I just feel so blah about it all. Like, shrug, I hope I lose it all and just fade away, but my conscious mind tells me to hang in and make it back.

So the plan?
Clear out the fullcontactpoker $300 bonus playing 3/6 and then play 5/10 once I hit 3k. I'm going to beat it sirs.