Scared, Intimidated To Play

I don't know about you guys but I go through cycles of fear and confidence, and not with just poker, with anything. I imagine that this would happen to anyone who is not a top performer and is constantly thinking about the game including swings, whether certain plays are +ev, potential sharks, etc.

Like, right now, I'm struggling at busting a profit at the 2/4 short handed game. And yet I imagine myself playing in the Big Game eventually? Granted they all started out small but still, how do I know I have what it takes to make it there? I have to go on a faith based thought and believe that I'll keep improving as long as I take this game seriously and put in the effort. Past experiences have told me that once I get the hang of something, I become a pretty damn good fox at what I do. Still, I've never won a trophy or anything of the sort. I wish I didn't lose my confidence so easily.

What started all this was reading pokerpages.com. Someone who goes by the username Flintsword (I wonder if that's from the game Chrono Trigger) posted on FCP and told me to go look at the site and read someone's articles. I ended up reading Jason Pohl's articles instead because he writes about short handed hold'em. I then read a few other articles by some kid who plays short handed and what he wrote seemed to be too conservative at the short handed game. But who am I to criticize right? I'm only playing 2/4! Beh, having a mentor would help but oh well, I have a whole summer to see how good I really am. I feel like if I really am good, I should make more than 10k easily, meh. I once again feel like I don't know how to play the game.

night